Inner Peace

During my adolescent years, I was playful, curious, creative and talkative, when I was in the company of my family.  When I began grade school, I enjoyed learning new things, but I was shy, very sensitive and didn’t make friends readily.  I watched my classmates from afar and didn’t engage in conversations with them. 

While I was growing up, my parents taught me to be more independent.  My mother words of wisdom and kindness helped me to overcome my sensitivities.  Today, I appreciate my mother’s devotion to religion, but during my early teenage years, I was at odds with her.  We regularly attended church on Sundays, enjoyed the pastor sermons, members and activities.  My mother taught bible study at home and her mannerisms were strict.  We didn’t understand her assertiveness, because her teachings made us feel uncomfortable. 

During my childhood, my family learned to get by on very little and each year, we celebrated Christmas.  I was always surprised by the christmas presents that my parents managed to give us.  Looking back over the years, my parents had bouts of psychological weakness and this affected us deeply.  We were too young to understand and recognize that their inner strength was fading.  During these difficult times, my siblings and I were torn by their actions and we longed to abandon our home.  My mother showed signs of depression and was very despondent towards us.  We clung to our mother for emotional support and guidance.  We felt lost without her attention, because she was such a strong willed person.  She taught us to fight oppression by using our minds and leaned on us heavily. 

When she showed signs that she was feeling emotionally stronger, we rejoiced and did things to show her how much we loved her.  We became more responsible, independent and didn’t grumble as much, when she asked us to pitch in with the household chores.  My mother, the lioness was once again, playful and warm.  We were her little cubs and she protected us fiercely.  

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